What is that "thing" mom???

With Love & Sincere Thanks!

I just wanted to quickly comment on my post and the comments I have received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and encouragement. It means so much to me that you all care so much and took the time to write such sincere comments. It amazes me how the bond of women can be so strong. I know each of you are dealing with your own trials and tribulations and I appreciate your concern with mine. I love each of you and thank you again.

Keeping Up Appearances

I know I will probably be scrutinized for posting this and some of you may even be appalled and find it odd that I would share something so...negative in a post. With that being said, I think that a blog is a way for people to share their lives and viewpoints with friends and family. Most of the time we find ourselves posting about birthdays, holidays and happy memories. And then there are some postings, not as common, that share our frustrations and struggles. Rarely do we ever post about the struggles in our marriages, struggles with finances or other issues that don't necessarily "keep up our appearance". Some say because it is none of anybodies business, well to each his own right.
Jesse and I separated three days ago, but I think Jesse left the marriage, in many ways, six months after we got married. I have tried everything to make my marriage work for my kids, even losing myself in the process. I have known and had a relationship with Jesse for 10 years. Jesse is a hard person to be a relationship with. He takes a lot and gives little back. For a long time I think I have always known that this day would come eventually. I was trying to hold out until my kids were 18...Kingston is 9 months. When we married, Jesse and I had the same goals and viewpoints. Today it's like I hardly know him anymore. Or maybe he has always been this way and I have turned a blind eye to it, not wanting to accept it. Holding out hope that he would stay on the straight and narrow. Don't get me wrong, Jesse can at times be a good husband. It never lasted long, just long enough for me to get my hopes up and to think he really cared and loved me. Then it would be right back to him putting his needs first and manipulating situations anywhere he could.
After many years I finally put my foot down. I can't take the crap he deals out anymore. I tried, tried and tried to make this work for our kids, but at what point does staying in a marriage become more destructive to your kids than divorce can be? I have struggled with that question many times. I struggled with that question three days ago. A wonderful woman quoted a very smart woman and I try to keep it close to the top of my thoughts, "When you have kids, you should only get a divorce when the spouse has committed any of the three A's: Adultery, Abuse and Addiction." Jesse at some point has committed not just one, but all three. So I ask again, at what point does staying in a marriage become more destructive to your kids than divorce can be? Did I make the right choice? All I can do is do what I think is right for the time and hope that it is the right choice. I don't really like to gamble with money, with this I feel like I am gambling with my children's futures. I know it takes two to tango and I am sure I contributed to the stress in some fashion. I feel terribly sad for my kids, they are so innocent and impressionable right now. I love them so much and want to be their everything when they probably need it the most.

zEkE!

Zeke is always on the move. He rides his bike that my Aunt Linda bought him through our entire house. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't let him ride his bike in the house, but pergo was invented with kids in mind and at least I know he isn't riding his bike in the road. Zeke catches on really quickly to almost anything and loves to experience new things. Some of those things tend to be a little on the girlie side. Like putting on glitter lip gloss while hanging out with Adri's girls (Thanks Adri), wanting a pink blanket at the store or riding Lydie's pink scooter, (Thanks again Adri, I wish you luck with your little guy)! However there are those things that he likes and he catches on well too like arcade games!!! I think he gets that from his Uncle Aaron! **Look at all those tickets he is winning**

ThAnKsGiViNg!!!

Thanksgiving was super yummy as usual. Mom made yams, bacon wrapped water chestnuts, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls and much more. Zach & Kelly brought a smoked Turkey and Kelly made stuffed mushrooms (Yum). Adri made Frog Eye Salad and Broccoli Cauliflower salad. Zach and Dad woke up early and got the pies from Marie Calendars and the feast began. My parents make every holiday memorable and this one did not let us down. Melissa got a short break from school and work and flew home on Wednesday night. Aaron wasn't there and we missed him so much but look forward to him being home for Christmas and New Years. Dad was also home, much longer than his usual one day!!! I took pictures and this is the result of our day...note that Connor jumped in every picture right before I snapped the shot:) THANKS MOM FOR ALWAYS MAKING THANKSGIVING YUMMY! YOU WORK REALLY HARD TO MAKE IT NICE FOR EVERYBODY. THANKS TO ADRI, AUDREY & KELLY FOR MAKING DISHES FOR US!

More Thanksgiving photos!

Aprons By Nana!

Take a look at these wonderful creations my mom has been making. She has been like a sewing maniac. She is making these aprons for sale in a cupcake store on the east side. They are for little girls, double-sided with contrast patterns, three pockets with cooking utensils included and fun buttons and embellishments. I myself could not sew anything like this nor would I want too. (I.Don't.Sew.)

She has done such a great job on them and really puts alot of time, creativity and love into these. You can also check more of them out on her blog www.nanasbloggingtoo.blogspot.com. They are $25, hurry and get one for your little baker before they are all gone for Christmas!

Happy Anniversary!

On November 15th my parents celebrated their 39th Anniversary! I can't even imagine 39 years. I've been married for 5 years and it seems like damn near eternity.
Anyhow, Happy Anniversary to the best parents a girl could ask for. Your marriage and the love you have for each other awes me.
Dad, you have always shown nothing but love and respect for my mom. Even when I know you are really mad or upset with Mom, you never yell. I have never heard you call her a name or say something that would make mom ever doubt your love for her. You have always been a go getter and wanted to provide for your wife no matter what that meant you had to do. You would never dream of doing anything to jeopardize your marriage and you would stick with mom through anything. I am proud to call you my Dad and Happy Anniversary!
Mom, what can I say. You are the greatest. You love dad so much. Even when times are hard, (and I know you have had a few), you guys stick together and work as a team. You always show dad respect and love. I love how even after 39 years of marriage you still "want to look nice" when dad comes home from business trips. I admire you and Dad for the dedication and love you put into your marriage every day. I know the two of you are still so in love after 39 years. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

CrAzY 8's!

8 TV Shows I Love To Watch:
TrueBlood
Nancy Grace
Dexter
TrueBlood
American Idol
TrueBlood
TrueBlood
TrueBlood
8 Favorite Restaurants:
Sapporro (Las Vegas)
Outback Steakhouse
Lonestar
Mikado
The Dodo
Cheesecake Factory (Las Vegas, not Fashionplace)
Serranos (Phoenix)
Carvers
8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
Took Ayana to dance
My whole toenail came off for no reason
Had several Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks
Figured out my favorite Scentsy smell (Cozy Fireside)
Played with my babies
Fixed a burnt out fuse in my car
Realized my Antifreeze in my car was really low
Delivered a Scentsy order
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
Thanksgiving
Lulu coming home for the holidays
Christmas
New Years Eve with my family
Twilight with the girls
Being with family for the Holidays
Adri's Baby
December 4th!
8 Things On My Wish List:
Jesse getting a better paying job
Staying in my house
Continued Health for my family
My daughter becoming a successful doctor
My sons playing in the league
To be sealed to my kids
My kids to stay little and not deal with adult crap
Health and Prosperity for my entire family and their kids
8 People I Tag (but you don't have to do this if you don't want to)
Mom
Adri
Audrey
Kristy
Julia
Kelly
Lulu
Natalie

~HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!~

Trick-Or-Treat, smell my feet! Today was such a great day. Mom took the day off, Audrey got off early and the kids were out of school! Mom, the kids and I met Adri and her girls for lunch. After lunch Adri took the girls out to her house and I took the boys home for a short nap because I knew we would be up a little later than usual tonight. Mom usually makes homemade chili but she did that on the night of the Treasure Hunt this year. Aaron, Dad and Jesse all were not home tonight so we decided to celebrate Halloween at Adri & Brett's this year. We had pizza and Adri made her famous milk chocolate, white chocolate and caramel rice krispies. Then we got the kids dressed in their costumes and headed out. My neighborhood does not have a lot of young families, so it was different to see how many kids were in Adri's neighborhood. It seriously reminded me of the trick-or-treating scene in E.T. when the streets are crowded with kids in costumes. It was really fun. Thanks Adri and Brett for inviting us over. I was sorry that Aaron, Dad and Jesse couldn't be there and Zach & Kelly's kids trick-or-treated with their friends in Murray. Zeke loved trick-or-treating and Kingston just rode around in the stroller with his blanket on just happy as a clam! Both Ayana and Zeke will have candy for months to come. I probably will end up throwing the majority of it away after several months of it not being eaten!

Halloween Parade!

Ayana doesn't have school tomorrow so the Halloween Parade was today instead. So we ventured over to the mass chaos and watched the parade. Emmy, Mikayla and Ayana all go to the same school so that makes the parade enjoyable. Evelyn and Lydie didn't have school today so they were able to come to the parade and Evelyn even got to walk around with Mikayla. Jesse had to work and was unable to come to the parade.

After school we went to Nana's and played outside. Zeke had always loved Nana's powerwheels Jeep and had wanted to drive it for awhile but was unable to steer. Today he taught himself to steer and I couldn't get him off the Jeep after that. He literally wore down the newly charged battery! Adri had the cute idea to load the back of the jeep with Nana's pumpkins, so Farmer Zeke loaded his pumpkins and hit the road. He was funny to watch though because he was more worried about his load than steering and ran into trees several times.

~Top 10 Reasons I LOVE Where I Live~

10.My floor plan!
9. My ward!
8. My cinder block privacy fence!
7. My front & Back yard!
6. My walk out basement, mother-in-law apartment!
5. My Pergo floors & no gross carpet!
4. My trustworthy, friendly, awesome & extremely fun neighbors behind us,
Jay, Ellen, Sydney, Bella & Baby Stephensen.

3. My home is in wonderful Murray and Ayana is in the Murray School District!

"Only Spartan women give birth to real men" In what movie is that line stated?
2. Audrey & Mikayla live downstairs in our mother-in-law apartment! We love you Audie & Kaykie!

1. My Mom & Dad live two houses down. My kids are in Nana & Papa heaven with my parent's living two doors down. Nana & Papa's is the central place for a lot of gatherings and all things cool. When we have dinners, it makes it easy to use my oven when mom's is full. When we run out of a necessity, it's much easier to borrow something from each other than run to the store. My siblings, nieces and nephews are there all the time and therefore, I see them all the time too. When I need to have one of my many and oh so needed talks with my mom, I can run down to her house and cry on her shoulder instead of cry all over the phone receiver. I get to see my Dad for the short time he is home because I have easy access to their house. Even the neighbor kids have started calling my mom Nana. I pray everyday that something will work out and I will be able to stay in my home. A huge knot ties my stomach up when I think of moving and leaving some many things I hold dear. I LOVE WHERE I LIVE for many reasons. The attachment I feel to this house, the area, my neighbors and my parent's living very nearby, is something I would be extremely upset to see go. I love my family and the blessings that have been giving to me and continue to be given to me.

Halloween Season!

As everyone else in my family, I too love Halloween and all that comes with fall. To start the season off I thought I would try a themed dinner. Most of you who know me, know that I do not cook let alone be creative with it. So needless to say this was a real stretch for me. But I felt "not worthy" as a mom after reading Julia Earle's blog and seeing all the wonderful things she makes for her kids and all of Audrey's yummy treats she makes! So I attempted the following meal. My family said it was good but I don't know if it really was or if they just said that because they were afraid I was trying to poison them!
Witch's Brew Juice

Jack-O-Latern Sloppy Joes

Baby Cabbage Patch Kids

White Chocolate Mummy Cookies

Catching Up!

It's been a while since I have blogged so let me catch up here. Ayana started her 4th grade year at Grant Elementary. She is doing really well and loves her teacher. Her grandma, (Jesse's mom), straightened her hair for the first week. It went back to being curly as soon as we washed it. She looks pretty with straight or curly hair.


~Zeke's 2nd Birthday~
Zeke celebrated his 2nd birthday in style. Uncle Zach and Aunt Kelly invited us to Park City to stay at the Canyons Resort. We went to the Mustang car show, ate really great steak, went swimming, rode the Alpine Slide and went swimming some more. Audrey created an incredible cake like a grassy hill with candy rocks and of course a Mustang on the road. It was really tasty and super cute. Audrey also made cupcakes...yummy! Zach and Kelly went out of their way to make sure Zeke had a great birthday this year. An extra special THANK YOU to Zach, Kelly and Audrey for everything they did for us! You guys made Zeke's birthday one that will be remembered for a long time.
Zeke with his remote control Mustang from Zach & Kelly!

The pirate ship from Mom & Dad!

Dinosaur from Sissy & Kinkle!

Zeke also got a basketball hoop from Papa, Nana, Audrey & Kaykie. Mustangs from Simon, Emmy & Connor. Cousin Trynity & Uncle Aaron gave him a mustang too. Thanks again everybody.

~Kingston Learns to Sit!~
Kingston is now 6 months old and is learning to sit. He struggles a little but he is coming right along. He loves to suck on his two fingers and has just recently discovered that he has feet with toes attached to them. He sucks on those too!



~Scentsy~
My mom recently became a Scentsy consultant. She has had two successful parties and I was excited to become a consultant myself to help earn some income but be able to stay at home with the kiddos. So if you are interested in scheduling a party or becoming a consultant, go to my website that they gave me www.scentsy.com/13881. Your support would be greatly appreciated.

~Buzz~
Zeke got a haircut/buzz. It's not my favorite but the good thing about hair is that it will grow out. I can't wait for the triumphant return of the faux hawk!

Blogging...What Blogging???

I have unfortunately not been able to blog lately. Stay tuned, as the blogging will soon start again!

~GOLD MEDALISTS!~

Pause my music before you play the video!!!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

~The International Spy Museum~

We took the Metro into downtown Washington DC to go to the International Spy Museum. It was really crowded but so cool. It was really crazy to see all the espionage artifacts. It was a big museum and they didn't allow strollers in there. I think we could have spent more time and seen more if Zeke was not there. I would not recommend taking young kids there. They also would not let us take pictures so I had to get these off the web with strangers in them:(

POTOMAC

Aunt Linda took us to the Peking Duck Restaurant. Or as Ayana would call it, "The Feast". The bring Peking Duck out to your table and cut it there for you. We also had scorching peaches that were put in toffee and ice water...it was really good. After that we made our way to the Parkway where Mount Vernon is and drove alongside the Potomac River. It is such a beautiful drive. We got out for a short while but I could only get one picture because Zeke wasn't feeling to photogenic.

~IDLEWILD~

We traveled to Pennsylvania on Monday and Tuesday. We visited some really old cemeteries where ancestors are buried. Then Aunt Linda stopped and paid for us to go to Idlewild Amusement Park. I was a little nervous how Zeke would do but in true Zeke fashion he handled it like a champ. We rode several rides and played a lot of games. Mom didn't take her camera that day so she blogged about this and stole my pictures. So you can also see the same photos on www.nanasbloggingtoo.blogspot.com.
~Zeke with his cars~

~Ferris Wheel Fun~

~Dragon Ride~

~Airplanes~

~Cars~

~Doodlebug Bus~

~Aaron sharing Funnel Cake~

~VIRGINIA~

Well we finally made it. Zeke was incredibly good on the plane. I was a little nervous but he did really well. We arrived in VA at 4:00 p.m. and hung out at Aunt Linda's before dinner. Sunday we hung out and I took Zeke down to the cemetery where Nanny is buried. It is only a short walk down the street. Zeke loved the walk and after visiting with Nanny we threw rocks in the creek on the cemetery grounds.

Nanny was such an incredible woman. She was an exceptional cook and made everything and anything from scratch. She worked hard raising four kids as a single mom and unfortunately had to bury her son during her life. I have never met a more caring, nurturing and loving woman besides Nanny...except Mom! We miss you Nanny and can't wait to see you again.

Throwing rocks in the creek at the beautiful cemetery where Nanny is laid to rest.

Aunt Linda took us to a Moroccan place for dinner. Lamb, chicken, salad, couscous, tea, almond cookies and Belly Dancers (Zeke's favorite part)! Zeke actually cried when she was done! He just loved her. Yummy food, family and one pretty dancer!