Inspiration!

I had a bit of a slow time this morning at work and I got on the web to read blogs. Immediately I went to my sisters blog (Adri). I know she always updates her blog and her stories make me laugh. So this post is dedicated to my ever diligent sister...Adri! Thanks for being my inspiration.

I haven't posted since Thanksgiving and you can't even really call that a post. I went back and reread it, and honestly I just sound pissed off. I began to think of what I could have been struggling with that would make me so short in emotion and thought...my conclusion....DRAMA.

The holidays are always hectic with 3 kids that I split with an ex and an immediate family of 22, but throw in a boyfriend and his family (which are split due to divorce) and the word "Hectic" takes on new meaning. Needless to say, everything worked out and the Holidays were nice. For the first time in many years, the kids and I did not have Christmas morning at my mom and dad's. This year Chris and I got to enjoy Christmas morning with the kids at his house in Grantsville. It was a first for Chris obviously (he has no children). But he took to it like a duck to water and it was nice to be able to share such an intimate experience with him.

The Holiday Season can be a hard time emotionally and mentally for a lot of people and without naming any names....I think that is where my emotions are coming from on my last post. I was not depressed or upset but several people around me were having a hard time and in turn it was directly effecting me. Some people made things incredibly difficult while others let those people effect them so much it was absurd. If next year is going to be that difficult for those people again....I may rethink with who and where I spend the holidays for 2011. That sounds cold hearted and insensitive but it's true which leads me to my next thought....

Life is full of challenges, lessons, shortcomings, unfairness and crap. At times it's hard to look at the bright side and press forward. I have posted my feelings and emotions on my divorce...it was really hard. I wouldn't wish even the friendliest, drama free divorce on anybody. It does things to you emotionally,mentally and physically that you couldn't possibly understand until you go through it. It took a long time to feel better about it and I am still not 100% (I don't think you ever are 100% after divorce.) But you can move forward and become a better person/partner. I gave so much of myself in my marriage that I lost who I was. Well, after the Holiday Season Drama...I decided 2011 was about me moving forward, moving on and taking charge. It has taken me almost 3 years to climb out of a negative marriage and find myself again.

I went from being a stay at home mom making no money to being the breadwinner while holding down a very demanding job (which I am very proud of.) I went from putting everything I had into making my partner happy, to making sure I was happy first (how can you make anybody else happy if you aren't happy yourself?)

Bottom line: 2011 is my year. It is about being the best mom I can be to my kids. If you aren't moving forward, you may as well be moving backwards. So I intend to move forward, progress and live! Be happy and healthy. Nurture my relationship with my kids. Let the people in my life know I love them and I am there for them. It's about being honest with other people while staying true to myself first. If you aren't moving forward with me..then you will be left behind and as sad as that may be, I am not scared to leave you waiting in the wings if it means it's going to better mine and my kids life.

I am speaking in generalities and not specifically to anybody so please don't take this personally.

Life is short. Make it count.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I don't really have much to say right now. Too many thoughts to articulate. Honestly, I don't want to do much talking at all just didn't want to leave Halloween up.

Almost Fall!

It's almost my very favorite time of the year...Fall! I love the way the air feels crisp and clean and carries just the slightest hint of drying leaves. Nothing says fall like a hot cup of apple cider and the smell of cinnamon. Halloween has always been a favorite holiday in my family and if you have fallen victim to the pranks my family plays, you know what I am talking about. If you have not fallen victim, no worries, you could very well hear a strange knock on your window or have your power go off suddenly one night this fall. Just know we are out there...watching and waiting.

Summer 2010!

So many wonderful things have happened in the last little while. Summer has been filled with many fun memories with the people I love the most. There has been some hard times as well (mainly heart surgery) but, as always the people who I love the most were right there by my side to offer comfort and support. I have taken many pictures but I post most of them on Facebook. There are too many to put post on a blog so I will post some of my favorite pics from Summer and summarize the event! Haha!

Heart Surgery 6/2/10..I had a Pacemaker put in to correct a slow heartbeat of only 30 beats a minute. It's now beating at an average 91 beats per minute. My family and Chris were right there by my side the whole time. Chris took care of me during an intense first 3 weeks of recovery! It has taken 8 weeks to start feeling better.



Camping @ Currant Creek!



Justin Bieber Concert with Ayana, Me, Audrey & Mikayla!



The Homestead with Chris's Mom and Sister over the July 24th Holiday Weekend!



Daughter/Mommy Date @ Lagoon!



I took Kelly's advice and took Mikayla and Ayana hiking to Cecret Lake!



Random fun times with my kids!





My adventures with Chris! I love that man! We have a fire almost every night, we have hiked Timpanogos Cave, we have gone rabbit hunting but mostly we just enjoy each others company and don't need to do much at all!





So...that's pretty much it in a nutshell! It has been a great summer so far. The wonder and awe in my kids eyes every time they experience something new makes it all worth it. I have enjoyed most of the summer....but BRING ON THE FALL!!!

Mother's Day 2010

Mommy this post is for you because I know you don't Facebook!
Mother's Day was great this year. I felt like such a princess. My kids mean so much to me and I am grateful and blessed to have them in my life. Saturday night started off the festivities at Chris's dad house in Grantsville. He had a BBQ for all the Mom's in his life. The roses in the picture are from him. I woke up on Mother's Day morning to Chris saying "Happy Mother's Day" to me. We went to Brunch with his family and his mom gave me the bowl of goodies with the recipes for fun and simple snacks to bake with your kids. She gave me this really sweet card thanking me for being so good to her son.

Ayana made me the "Mom" card, necklace, homemade card and coupons I could use for chores and other things. My boys gave me kisses! My mom and dad gave me some much needed beauty products and a wonderful Scentsy room spray! Yay!!!

Chris gave me that beautiful ring!! He is so sweet to me. So different then what I am used to. He genuinely enjoys seeing and making me happy. The man I have children with didn't even acknowledge it was Mother's Day.

Anyway, I am truly blessed to be a Mom and be able to celebrate this Holiday with my children, the people that mean the most to me and especially my Mom.

My Mommy!

This Sunday is Mother's Day! My mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I was young, she cared for me. Changing diapers, feeding me, teaching me and loving me. My mom has been there for me through the good, the bad and the down right ugly! She never judges me, although she might not agree with the decisions I make or the way I do things. Mom always offers up the best advice and the best meals!

I have so many memories growing up, too many to put down. So to sum it up in general, the best memories I have are with my family. My mom was always the center of those memories, be it a vacation, wiping away tears the first time my heart was broken by a boy, or being to EVERY single performance or game or school function. Basically my mom is the most wonderful woman in the world. She is my friend, my confidant, my support system, my teacher, my everything!

I love her with all my heart and every ounce of my being. I will never be able to repay her for all the things she has done and continues to do for me and my children.

Mom, I love you! Please know that I could never articulate how I feel about you and all the wonderful things you do. I know I am not always the easiest child to deal with even at age 32, but know that I never meant to hurt you or cause you stress or worry. You are an incredible Mom and Nana and person! I hope we are able to celebrate many more Mother's Day's together!

Updated Pics #3

Read the below post!





Easter 2010!

Updated Pics #2!

Read the below post!

Me and Ayana!



Easter!

Kingston Shark Cake for his 2nd B-Day!

Update Pics and Info!

A lot has happened since I last posted...as usual. The kids are getting big! They are such incredible kids and I love them to death! Instead of trying to blog about everything, I put a short one-liner below the pic to tell the tales!

Kingstons 2nd Birthday!



My boyfriend, Chris and I in Disneyland!

Road trip to Deer Valley!

Road Trip to Hill Air Force Base Museum!

My moms beloved Sphynx "Good Knight Moses" aka Moses passed away suddenly last night. He loved his life partner "Cash", snuggling under blankets, heating vents and having his bum spanked. He hated bath time. Moses was an important part of our family and a wonderful cat. His personality is one that will not soon be forgotten and there will definately be a hole in our family. My heart goes out to my mom. She loved that cat as did we all. He was not only a pet to her but a companion she could count on to get loves from when feeling alone, a laugh when feeling blue and a smile to brighten her day. We love you Moses and will miss you!

The Holidays!

This week is the start of the Holiday Season. This time of year holds a certain romanticism for me. However, its my first year in a long time that I don't have a spouse to share in those memories with. I am so very grateful for the people and things I do have in my life this year. The things I have learned and the trials that I have faced have been hard. It sounds cheesy, but I would much rather have loved Jesse and lost, then never to have experienced love with him at all. We have three beautiful kids and many happy memories together. I am so very blessed to have the support of my family and I look forward to creating new memories this Holiday Season (even without a spouse)!

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