My moms beloved Sphynx "Good Knight Moses" aka Moses passed away suddenly last night. He loved his life partner "Cash", snuggling under blankets, heating vents and having his bum spanked. He hated bath time. Moses was an important part of our family and a wonderful cat. His personality is one that will not soon be forgotten and there will definately be a hole in our family. My heart goes out to my mom. She loved that cat as did we all. He was not only a pet to her but a companion she could count on to get loves from when feeling alone, a laugh when feeling blue and a smile to brighten her day. We love you Moses and will miss you!

The Holidays!

This week is the start of the Holiday Season. This time of year holds a certain romanticism for me. However, its my first year in a long time that I don't have a spouse to share in those memories with. I am so very grateful for the people and things I do have in my life this year. The things I have learned and the trials that I have faced have been hard. It sounds cheesy, but I would much rather have loved Jesse and lost, then never to have experienced love with him at all. We have three beautiful kids and many happy memories together. I am so very blessed to have the support of my family and I look forward to creating new memories this Holiday Season (even without a spouse)!

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Name Change~

I haven't blogged in a long time. My divorce is final in one week. I decided to take back my maiden name when I filed for divorce. I thought about changing my blog title but couldn't come up with any ideas. So I am reaching out for some assistance. Please leave a comment with your suggestion. I would like to offer a prize to the winner but I am broke so recognition by name will have to do...Ha ha! But your suggestions none the less would be greatly appreciated. Here are some photos for inspiration.

My Family!

Tonight as I sit here and think of something to blog about, I get choked up with love and sincere gratitude in my heart. Tears come to my eyes and I am completely taken over by emotion. My family never ceases to amaze me with the love and compassion they have for me. No matter how mean I am or how distant I can be at times, they continue to be there for me. At times I don't understand why they continue to do this. But I am so blessed that they do. Never in my life have I met or will meet better people. My family is my whole life and I love them with everything I have.
They are always there for me in my time of need. To laugh with, love me and pick me up when I am down. My previous post I talked about how hard divorce can be. Words can't even begin to describe how hard it is. But then you have this incredible group of people who would do anything to see you smile again. People who are there to help you through the hard times even if that means their needs come second to yours. This week every single member of my family has shown selflessness and helped me.
Dad and Aaron, Thank you for fixing the explorer, taking time and money to repair my car.
Adri and Brett, Thank you for being open to the idea of watching my boys so they don't have to go to a miserable daycare where I don't know what the hell is going on.
Zach and Kelly, Thank you for letting me drive Eleanor (08 Mustang) all week while my car was out of commission. I LOVED IT!
Audrey, What can I say, THANK YOU, you are such a good friend to talk to and help me through this hard time since you have been there. And THANK YOU for making such a risky decision with me.
Melissa, Thank you for calling me with a solution to the broken part on my car and even from miles away and tied up with your own issues, stopped what you were doing and expressed your love and concern for your bigger sister.
Mom, wow, where would I be without you and your love and friendship. Several times this week you have come to me while I was in tears, put your arms around me and cried with me. All while trying to console your hurting daughter. Sometimes even as adults, we need our parents to put their arms around us and tell us everything will be okay like when we were younger. I love you!
I love each and every one of my family members and stand amazed at the love we all share and how close we are. My siblings are truly my best friends and the coolest people I have ever met. That definitely says alot about our wonderful parents and how we were raised!

Blah Blah!

I haven't blogged in a really long time. I guess nothing to exciting to blog about. Jesse and I are in the middle of a divorce. Never in my life did I think it would be this hard. The emotions you go through during a divorce are absolutely insane. One day you could be feeling great and the next day, the next minute you can feel completely alone. It's very stressful and it has been really hard for me. I had to quit watching Mikayla so I could go back to work full time and now my own kids go to a baby sitter. Where did everything go so wrong. This is not how I imagined my adult life. I know that in my heart I have made the best decision for me and my kids. But at the same time, its kicking my ass too.

My Babysitting Skills!

For those of you who know me, I have babysat my niece Mikayla since she was four. She is like my own and she has truly grown on me over the years. I would be really upset if I was no longer able to have her everyday. Her eagerness to please and help out with the boys is a blessing and I love her to death.
With that being said, she occasionally has to be put on time out and we have tried several places. None have worked until now...

Just kidding! She found this spot on her own and she is never put in time out. Oh the cleverness of Kaykie!

Easter!

Easter this year was a little different and difficult. Dad was out of town on business, Lulu is at school, Zach is on a road trip with his mustang, Kelly and her kids ate at her moms, Jesse wasn't here, and my kids only got to come for the Easter egg hunt. The Easter dinner table is usually crowded with food, laughter and alot of commotion.

This year, the table sat only 9 people compared to our usual 20. It was hard on my mom to have my dad gone. She commented several times that her and my dad have not spent an Easter away from each other in their 39 years of marriage. I know it was hard on her and my dad to be away from each other.

Besides so many family members missing from the dinner table this year, our family celebrated with the traditional Easter Egg Hunt for the kids that mom puts so much time and effort into. My sisters and mom made a yummy meal that at least the 9 of us got to sit and eat and laugh!

No matter how many empty chairs are at the table, there are "No Empty Chairs". We missed all our family members that couldn't with us today. But believe me when you read this, there is no other family as close as ours no matter how far apart we are. We love unconditionally, laugh, cry, joke, care and enjoy each other like no other family I have ever met. I am so very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Like my mom says,"Happy Purple Egg Day". Thanks mom for teaching me and my siblings that family is the most important thing in life.

Happy 1st Birthday Kingston!

Kingston Zachary Griffin turns 1 on March 18, 2009. We had his party for him on St. Patricks Day because I will be out of town to see my baby sis. Kingston has such a loving personality. He is always smiling or sucking his two fingers. Nana so kindly gave him the nickname of "kinkle" and Uncle Aaron has recently given him the nickname "Wilbie" or "Wilbur" because Kingston has an ear piercing scream that he will let out when he is mad, wants something or is crying. You seriously have never heard anything like this before.

He is such a lover and is always wanting his Mama. I have been blessed with such a sweet boy and I am sad to think he is already a year old. Where does the time go? Happy Birthday to my sweet, handsome baby boy!

My Boys!

My boys are so much fun to be around. Zeke has been a holy terror lately but, I love it and hate it at the same time. Kingston is definitely my little lover boy! He is always wanting to be held and snuggled. Although his ear piercing scream can be interesting. I love my boys and they are my Valentines this year.

February!

February every year means a lot to me. February is Red Dress Month which is a foundation to help prevent and support women with Heart Disease. I was born with Pulmonary Stenosis. Pulmonary Stenosis is when oxygen-depleted blood is pumped through the pulmonary valve to the lungs to pick up oxygen. Normally the pulmonary valve has three leaflets. If these leaflets are malformed, the valve may become narrowed (stenotic) or leaky (insufficient) and can enlarge your heart. Depending on how severe it is you can have a hard time exercising or breathing. If you have a stenotic or insufficient pulmonary valve, you'll need to take antibiotics to prevent endocarditis which can cause an infection that will go to your heart and kill you. During pregnancy you'll likely handle it well if you have mild or moderate stenosis or regurgitation. If your lesion is severe, pregnancy may be higher risk, particularly if you have an artificial valve. Your cardiologist should be involved in your care during pregnancy and delivery.
My first Open Heart Surgery took place when I was 3. During that procedure they made two incisions in the valve to widen it. I had my second Open Heart Surgery when I was 26. My entire Pulmonary Valve was replaced with a Porcine Valve (aka Pig valve). At 26 I completely understood how serious and dangerous this surgery could be. They put you on a heart and lung machine which will continue to keep your heart pumping while they repair or replace your valve. This requires them to stop your heart, repair or replace and then restart your heart. There is always a chance that it will not restart. When I was three they had to use the defibrillators to restart my heart. During my surgery at 26 my heart started again when they took it off the machine. After I was "out of the woods" my surgeon told my mom that I was fine and recovering in ICU. Being a Mom, she asked if everything went okay and my surgeon very bluntly stated, "She did fine, yesterday I had a patient that is the same age as your daughter and had the same procedure done and we couldn't get her heart restarted and she passed away."
My cardiologist and I work closely to do check ups and make sure that the pig valve is functioning properly. I do have some leakage of the valve but it is not serious enough to replace at this time. Porcine valves don't have an expiration date on them and Doctors are unable to determine how long they hold up before needing to be replaced.
I share this with you all because many women, including me, support Breast Cancer Awareness. Yet few women realize that Heart Disease is the #1 killer in women. So take a few minutes this month to wear something red to show support for those women who are struggling with heart disease. Please take care of each other and take care of yourselves to prevent heart disease. Awareness and steps to prevention are your best bet that you won't have to deal with this terrible killer.

Shoes Shoes Shoes!

So Zach and Kelly have sent me into a shoe fetish. I love shoes and used to buy them all the time. Then I had kids and that stopped. However, with my new relationship status and the first pair purchased for me, I now have three new pairs of shoes to love.
Saturday, Audrey and I went out for a GNO! We went to the Bohemian and I really enjoyed it. I liked the food and the ambiance was great too. Audrey ordered the Salmon Salad and I had the Steak Salad. YUM!
After dinner we went to see My Bloody Valentine 3D. I didn't like it, the dialogue was silly, even for a horror movie. But it was nice to go out and spend some time with Audie.

Now that's HOT!

So, amongst all the holiday mayhem and Adri and Brett having our sweet little baby Jacob. I turned 31 on Dec. 29th and we celebrated on New Years Eve. Mom and Dad took me to dinner and I didn't even have to eat at Pei Wei! They also bought me a $20 gift card to Starbucks (which I didn't use all in one day mom). My Aunt Linda sent me $20 which bought me the Lady Gaga CD I have been wanting & a coffee at Starbucks! My sweet little brother gave me $10 which bought me two more coffees at Starbucks. My darling kids bought me a pair of pants. Adri & Brett gave me baby Jake (not literally). And Lulu and Audrey were there to celebrate the occasion and wish me Happy B-Day which was awesome. Zach and Kelly surprised me with a trip to the mall. I stood there in shock when Zach asked me where I shop for clothes for myself. Me shop...for clothes...for myself??? I can't remember the last time I purchased clothes for myself...oh wait yes I can...when I was pregnant with Zeke and that was at the maternity store....super fun. So after I asked Zach several times if he was serious, I struggled to come up with an answer. Finally he suggested Express. Trying to be a good sport I went along with this thinking silently to myself "I won't fit into the clothes at Express, he is nuts."

So off we went and I went in with doubt and walked out with a pair of pants (the skinny fit by the way) but I won't tell the size, and an awesome short sleeved sweater. Then Zach took me over to Bakers Shoes and yes ladies, HE picked out a pair of 5 inch high heels he thought would "make my outfit pop!" Only 11 days out from toe surgery and still wearing that awesome shoe they give you after surgery, I shoved my sore toe into a size 5 1/2 high heel.

New Years Eve night I wore my new outfit. The high heels didn't stay on very long due to the toe issue, for a while I hobbled along in one shoe because they are so cute. So to sum up an incredible birthday given to me by the people whom I love whole hearted, it was wonderful. Thank you everybody for everything you did for me and continue to do for me on a daily basis. I love each and every one of you. Now here is a picture of my new shoes!