Inspiration!

I had a bit of a slow time this morning at work and I got on the web to read blogs. Immediately I went to my sisters blog (Adri). I know she always updates her blog and her stories make me laugh. So this post is dedicated to my ever diligent sister...Adri! Thanks for being my inspiration.

I haven't posted since Thanksgiving and you can't even really call that a post. I went back and reread it, and honestly I just sound pissed off. I began to think of what I could have been struggling with that would make me so short in emotion and thought...my conclusion....DRAMA.

The holidays are always hectic with 3 kids that I split with an ex and an immediate family of 22, but throw in a boyfriend and his family (which are split due to divorce) and the word "Hectic" takes on new meaning. Needless to say, everything worked out and the Holidays were nice. For the first time in many years, the kids and I did not have Christmas morning at my mom and dad's. This year Chris and I got to enjoy Christmas morning with the kids at his house in Grantsville. It was a first for Chris obviously (he has no children). But he took to it like a duck to water and it was nice to be able to share such an intimate experience with him.

The Holiday Season can be a hard time emotionally and mentally for a lot of people and without naming any names....I think that is where my emotions are coming from on my last post. I was not depressed or upset but several people around me were having a hard time and in turn it was directly effecting me. Some people made things incredibly difficult while others let those people effect them so much it was absurd. If next year is going to be that difficult for those people again....I may rethink with who and where I spend the holidays for 2011. That sounds cold hearted and insensitive but it's true which leads me to my next thought....

Life is full of challenges, lessons, shortcomings, unfairness and crap. At times it's hard to look at the bright side and press forward. I have posted my feelings and emotions on my divorce...it was really hard. I wouldn't wish even the friendliest, drama free divorce on anybody. It does things to you emotionally,mentally and physically that you couldn't possibly understand until you go through it. It took a long time to feel better about it and I am still not 100% (I don't think you ever are 100% after divorce.) But you can move forward and become a better person/partner. I gave so much of myself in my marriage that I lost who I was. Well, after the Holiday Season Drama...I decided 2011 was about me moving forward, moving on and taking charge. It has taken me almost 3 years to climb out of a negative marriage and find myself again.

I went from being a stay at home mom making no money to being the breadwinner while holding down a very demanding job (which I am very proud of.) I went from putting everything I had into making my partner happy, to making sure I was happy first (how can you make anybody else happy if you aren't happy yourself?)

Bottom line: 2011 is my year. It is about being the best mom I can be to my kids. If you aren't moving forward, you may as well be moving backwards. So I intend to move forward, progress and live! Be happy and healthy. Nurture my relationship with my kids. Let the people in my life know I love them and I am there for them. It's about being honest with other people while staying true to myself first. If you aren't moving forward with me..then you will be left behind and as sad as that may be, I am not scared to leave you waiting in the wings if it means it's going to better mine and my kids life.

I am speaking in generalities and not specifically to anybody so please don't take this personally.

Life is short. Make it count.