Shoes Shoes Shoes!

So Zach and Kelly have sent me into a shoe fetish. I love shoes and used to buy them all the time. Then I had kids and that stopped. However, with my new relationship status and the first pair purchased for me, I now have three new pairs of shoes to love.
Saturday, Audrey and I went out for a GNO! We went to the Bohemian and I really enjoyed it. I liked the food and the ambiance was great too. Audrey ordered the Salmon Salad and I had the Steak Salad. YUM!
After dinner we went to see My Bloody Valentine 3D. I didn't like it, the dialogue was silly, even for a horror movie. But it was nice to go out and spend some time with Audie.

Now that's HOT!

So, amongst all the holiday mayhem and Adri and Brett having our sweet little baby Jacob. I turned 31 on Dec. 29th and we celebrated on New Years Eve. Mom and Dad took me to dinner and I didn't even have to eat at Pei Wei! They also bought me a $20 gift card to Starbucks (which I didn't use all in one day mom). My Aunt Linda sent me $20 which bought me the Lady Gaga CD I have been wanting & a coffee at Starbucks! My sweet little brother gave me $10 which bought me two more coffees at Starbucks. My darling kids bought me a pair of pants. Adri & Brett gave me baby Jake (not literally). And Lulu and Audrey were there to celebrate the occasion and wish me Happy B-Day which was awesome. Zach and Kelly surprised me with a trip to the mall. I stood there in shock when Zach asked me where I shop for clothes for myself. Me shop...for clothes...for myself??? I can't remember the last time I purchased clothes for myself...oh wait yes I can...when I was pregnant with Zeke and that was at the maternity store....super fun. So after I asked Zach several times if he was serious, I struggled to come up with an answer. Finally he suggested Express. Trying to be a good sport I went along with this thinking silently to myself "I won't fit into the clothes at Express, he is nuts."

So off we went and I went in with doubt and walked out with a pair of pants (the skinny fit by the way) but I won't tell the size, and an awesome short sleeved sweater. Then Zach took me over to Bakers Shoes and yes ladies, HE picked out a pair of 5 inch high heels he thought would "make my outfit pop!" Only 11 days out from toe surgery and still wearing that awesome shoe they give you after surgery, I shoved my sore toe into a size 5 1/2 high heel.

New Years Eve night I wore my new outfit. The high heels didn't stay on very long due to the toe issue, for a while I hobbled along in one shoe because they are so cute. So to sum up an incredible birthday given to me by the people whom I love whole hearted, it was wonderful. Thank you everybody for everything you did for me and continue to do for me on a daily basis. I love each and every one of you. Now here is a picture of my new shoes!

What is that "thing" mom???

With Love & Sincere Thanks!

I just wanted to quickly comment on my post and the comments I have received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and encouragement. It means so much to me that you all care so much and took the time to write such sincere comments. It amazes me how the bond of women can be so strong. I know each of you are dealing with your own trials and tribulations and I appreciate your concern with mine. I love each of you and thank you again.

Keeping Up Appearances

I know I will probably be scrutinized for posting this and some of you may even be appalled and find it odd that I would share something so...negative in a post. With that being said, I think that a blog is a way for people to share their lives and viewpoints with friends and family. Most of the time we find ourselves posting about birthdays, holidays and happy memories. And then there are some postings, not as common, that share our frustrations and struggles. Rarely do we ever post about the struggles in our marriages, struggles with finances or other issues that don't necessarily "keep up our appearance". Some say because it is none of anybodies business, well to each his own right.
Jesse and I separated three days ago, but I think Jesse left the marriage, in many ways, six months after we got married. I have tried everything to make my marriage work for my kids, even losing myself in the process. I have known and had a relationship with Jesse for 10 years. Jesse is a hard person to be a relationship with. He takes a lot and gives little back. For a long time I think I have always known that this day would come eventually. I was trying to hold out until my kids were 18...Kingston is 9 months. When we married, Jesse and I had the same goals and viewpoints. Today it's like I hardly know him anymore. Or maybe he has always been this way and I have turned a blind eye to it, not wanting to accept it. Holding out hope that he would stay on the straight and narrow. Don't get me wrong, Jesse can at times be a good husband. It never lasted long, just long enough for me to get my hopes up and to think he really cared and loved me. Then it would be right back to him putting his needs first and manipulating situations anywhere he could.
After many years I finally put my foot down. I can't take the crap he deals out anymore. I tried, tried and tried to make this work for our kids, but at what point does staying in a marriage become more destructive to your kids than divorce can be? I have struggled with that question many times. I struggled with that question three days ago. A wonderful woman quoted a very smart woman and I try to keep it close to the top of my thoughts, "When you have kids, you should only get a divorce when the spouse has committed any of the three A's: Adultery, Abuse and Addiction." Jesse at some point has committed not just one, but all three. So I ask again, at what point does staying in a marriage become more destructive to your kids than divorce can be? Did I make the right choice? All I can do is do what I think is right for the time and hope that it is the right choice. I don't really like to gamble with money, with this I feel like I am gambling with my children's futures. I know it takes two to tango and I am sure I contributed to the stress in some fashion. I feel terribly sad for my kids, they are so innocent and impressionable right now. I love them so much and want to be their everything when they probably need it the most.